sometimes i type out texts i never send or think of words ill never say, this is what i wish i could say sometimes...
i hate my body
i hate the body you gave me
i hate my height
i feel gross
i want to take a knife to my stomach so i can open it and scoop out all the fat
i cant love you because i dont love myself
i get scared when i have to eat
i cant control what i eat sometimes its the worst feeling
i take diet pills
i take too many diet pills
i hate myself when i dont exercise
i know im hurting myself but id rather hurt myself trying than live my life looking like this
i want to tell my loved ones this and so much more, but i can't. and i never will.
today has been a bad day, feeling wise. other than that its been great. but i feel like shit and look like shit and have eaten shit and havent and arent going to work out today. i just feel like a disgusting pig. i want to curl up in a ball in a baggy sweatshirt. i hate myself. i hate feeling like grossness. i hate all of this.
hope you girls are having a better day than me lol
stay well
yimp
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