well im off the high from South Carolina. I think the worst feeling is when you realize that you don't like someone as much as you thought you did. I hate this. Today we went ice skating (me, sara, sc, sc's sister and the guy sara likes) this should have been a blast...but sadly i was having more fun with the guy sara likes and kept having to make myself stop talking to him and go find sc, because i felt bad spending time with sara's guy when she should be flirting it up with him.
it was really hard to talk to sc today and i really just didn't have the energy to fake it and yet i could so easily hold a conversation with sara's guy. =/
obviously i'm not going to start going after him or anything.
i hate the fact that the only person i've consistently liked is the lovely hurt. what is it about him that draws me to him? he's not my type AT ALL and yet every moment i spend with him is bliss...i want more than what he offers and yet i want him...
i know i'll crash after break, right now his college friends are back at home leaving him little to do..so he pays more attention to me, i'm trying to keep myself busy so i dont get use to it only to have him hurt me again when his friends all come back
i'm sorry so many of my posts are about boy issues, for some reason my moods are highly affected by my relationships with boys...its terrible...
in other news i got a really cute dress today to add tot he options for new years, except i was too lazy to try it on...i thought it was fit because its the size i wear at every other store...but not its too small =( so i have to exchange it 2m...this is so sucky
i realized today i can't remember the last time i was truly happy for long periods of time...and that scares me...it really really scares me
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