Slow and Steady

Slow and stead wins the rest. This is what I keep telling myself. If you take this eating thing just a week at a time, you can create habits rather than this constant roller coaster of starving and bingeing, eating healthy and eating crap.
Last weeks new habit was not eating past eight. This is an important one because I do most of my high calorie and fat bingeing late at night when I don't feel like going to bed.
This weeks is a liquid fast once a week. Hopefully I'll be able to make this just a waterfast in order to sort of detox once a week.

The thing with this is I keep having this urge to just not eat to lose weight fast and start seeing results, but I want to do something that will last, so I'm not letting myself restrict. Its weird how easy it seems to restrict when I'm trying to makeself eat.

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Last night my sister told me about her friend who's ED is getting worse. It's hard because I understand both sides of them. My sister wants the girl to tell her friends at college so that they can keep an  eye on her, but obviously the girl doesnt want to tell them for just that reason. I tried to explain to my sister that sometimes people knowing can make it even worse.
I have found that at school I eat better because people don't know about how I was in highschool with eating, so they never make comments about what I eat and therefore I can eat what I want and however I want. But when I"m with my highschool friends I feel like I have something to prove, and that I have to keep up with the image they have of me in their head. They see me as the girl who never eats so i have to keep up with that. Like once someone offered me food and my highschool bff spoke for me saying "don't even bother she wont eat it." Even though I orginally intended of eating it. However, after she said that I couldn't bring myself to eat.
It's almost worse when people know becaues if they know you are trying to restrict or lose weight then I feel like I"m failing them if I"m not constantly losing or if I eat something i feel like they judging me and realize that I am failing at restricting that day.
I told my sister that in the end it has to be something she wants to change so it's up to her and theres nothing she can do about it.