Monster In Me: 1

Do you remember everything about me?

I doubt it – but don’t worry – no matter

She’s been here for as long as I can remember…And that’s all that matters anymore

Who cares if you don’t love me? I’m not going to change

Cause I’m busy changing for me…And she helps along the way

I’ll admit

Internally I know I should quit

She’s the one who’s bringing me down - doesn’t matter anymore

I’m tired of your opinion - doesn’t matter anymore

Cause I know the moment she and I get there

I’ll be happier and more

That’s what keeps me going…And her surrounding voice

Is always there

Sure, sometimes she tells me that I’m not good enough

I’ll never be good enough - I answer - So why try?

But the second I make her leave

Anxiety fills me and I’d rather die

Than live a day without her

A Faustian bargain

For eternal beauty

For control

I shake…I quiver

My blood rushes hot then cold

Dizzy with deprivation

I’m scared, I cry

Illneverbethin

Illneverbeperfect

Illneverbegoodenough

Illneverbehappy

It’s alright dear – she says – Everything Will Be Alright

And I believe her…I have to believe her

She’s my only true friend

I can’t live without her, but

Everyone keeps saying she’s out to kill me

Sounds terrible I know…But, I’d rather let her kill me

Than live fat.