Paranoid,Weigh In and Jean Thinspo

Today I read an article about how companies look at your online networking sites (facebook, twitter etc) and will often base whether they give you a job or not. I began to get fearful. Can they find my blogs and link me to them? Will I lose job opportunities when they see how mental I can be at times? Part of me is tempted to delete my blog just to be on the safe side,  but honestly I really don't want to. Even if no reads what I write I enjoy knowing I have this place to get these th.8oughts about myself and my body out of my head and into a place where I think people can see them. I enjoy having this place that seem secret to me, but perhaps it's not as secret as I'd like to believe.

In good news  I weighed myself today. After a couple rough eating days and my lack of exercise I was very pleasantly surprised when I weighed myself and discovered I weighted 97.8lbs. This definitely brightened my day. Just three more pounds and I'll be at my goal weight for the school year and I can start working towards my ultimate goal weight of 89lb.

I am getting nervous however because my mom is starting to make comments about my weight. She discovered that I'd been purging this summer. I know if I start getting down to 89 she'll flip out. She keeps saying I look thinner but honestly I think I look larger than I did while I was on vacation with my friends this summer and when I left for school and she didn't say anything about it then, so I don't know what her deal is. Honestly I think the issue is that she's been looking at my sister who is the same height as I am, but we have a different build. She's beautiful and a curvier build than I am. It's not even a diet thing, it's just how she's built, she's always had bigger boobs and a rounder face than me. She's built more like my mom and I'm built more like my dad. I just think she's use to seeing my sister (since she still lives at home) and just thinks I look thinner since I am thinner than her.

Either way I am going to keep going until I feel like I can look good in my jeans for the fall.