Less Than A Week

Oh shit in less than a week I will be on the beach in a bikini with the boyfriend. SCARY!!!
I weighed myself tonight at 99.6 which is not terrible for the shit I have been eating but I really want to be 95 though I will settle for 98 at least for this trip. I keep eating so so so so so so so bad! I'm trying to make up for it with exercise but it's hard with the boy wanting to hang out all the time and me wanting to hang out with him too. Luckily tonight he had to close so hanging out wasn't an option. So I swam 100 laps, jogged/walked 10 miles, 500 abs and 100 squats.
As much as I like working out it is no substitute for eating well. Exercise will make me strong and toned which is nice but what good is muscle if it is hiding under all my fat? All it does is make me look fatter!!
Oh shit...I have less than a week. shit shit shit

Back From Vaca and Terrified for Weigh In

Just returned from my family vacation. I actually didn't eat too badly except for breakfasts. My breakfasts were very high carbs but then we would literally walk from 11am until 530pm when we would come back to freshen up for the evening during which time I would snack on some grapes. Around 6 we would start walking around again and ate dinner about 8  (which I ate a salad most nights except for last night where i messed up and ate some of my sisters french fries) and then walked more until about 11 or 12 when we returned to the hotel to sleep. Friday I was lucky and was able to squeeze an hour and a half of work out time. I ran 30 min, did 500 abs, did the cycle for 30 min at a cool down pace and then stretched. It was glorious. Despite being relatively good I'm terrified to weigh myself. I have to weigh myself tomorrow morning so I know what I'm working with this week and how much I need to drop before Saturday which is when I leave for my beach vacation.
I have never been this terrified to weigh myself. I just want to live in the dark and not admit to myself what a fat lard i am.

Beach Body: 3

In:
Yogurt w/ Fruit
Coffee
Poptarts
Tea

Out:
Abs
Lunges

Going to the park with the boy tonight. He works way too hard that's for sure, so I'm trying to plan a nice relaxing evening for the two of us. Today he told me that I keep him rounded and from taking life too seriously. I love that because that's exactly what I've always wanted to be for someone.

Ick the room is spinning. Stupid blood sugar.

Beach Body: 2

In

Blue Berry Pancakes

Apple

Coffee
Hamburger
Salad
Baked Beans
Apple

Out

Worked Birthday Party
10 Lunges
5 mile run
300 abs
30 min yoga

I have decided that being an event planner is a great job. While all the other ladies will be sitting around on their bums at their desks all day I will be running around getting things accomplished. Grant it I sweated up a storm today, so I didn't look too nice by the end of the work day. But who cares I was on my feet moving the whole time. Calories burnt =)

So I have a new idea. Maybe I can try myself to be done with a meal but always finishing my meal with an apple. Then once i'm trains to view my apple as the end of a meal I can eat the apple sooner and sooner and my body with automatically thing I've had a meal...or at least my mind will tell my fat self to not anymore after.It's worth a shot.

Beach Body: 1

Morning Weight: 102lbs

Food/Drink Intake: 

• Doughnut
• Skim Milk
• Water
• Cookie
• Pizza
• Ice Cream
• Coffee

Exercise:

• 90 Squats
• 80 Laps in pool

Tried to Purge because I'm a failure...I hate this.

Famous Last Words

Well I'm going to start getting back on track. Famous last words, right?
But for real, I have two weeks until my beach vacation where I'm hoping to basically live in my bikini for four days. I have no room to slack.Today I purged alot but I refuse to let that be how I fit into my bikinis because honestly for me I don't think it helps lose weight, it's more to keep me mentally sane after I eat terribly.
Starting Saturday morning (when I wake up) I am starting hardcore. This means weighing in at the start and end of each day and eating pure if anything at all. My work outs must be full out.
I want to be 95lbs by August 4th. I can fucking do this. I got to 98 without trying too hardcore so I know this is possible if I stick with it and this time I'm starting from 102 not 105.
14 days. Wish me luck

This Is Getting Ridiculous

Why why why why why why?? I knew this was going to happen. I jinxed it with my post about being 97 for a little bit! I was doing great and now I have completely gained back everything I lost.
I have a new plan tho. I really think drinking all the tea was helping to curve my food cravings so I am going to buy more today and establish a rule that I must drink four water bottles worth each day along with 4 bottles of water. I can only eat fruits, vegetables, yogurt, chicken and and eggs until my beach vacation in two weeks. I'm going to the beach with all my friends and boyfriend so i HAVE TO BE AT 95lbs!! This is ten pounds in two weeks so basically a pound a day, but I think I can do this. As long as I don't binge and work on keeping with my diet and work outs I can do this.
The one problem is I'll be on vacation for part of this, but hopefully I'll have somewhere to store my tea. If not it will be rough four days however avoiding snacking won't be as hard.
I saw this on a site to show how much 10 pounds can make on a short girl...i need to lose ten pounds NOW